so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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