It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
