census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize