and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
