I seem to have left my pride at pride
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
