Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
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Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
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He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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