its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
