I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
