i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The best revenge is premature balding
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
