we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
