This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
