I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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