News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
then he tried to convert me to islam
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
