Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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