I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
