I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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