so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
