Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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