Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night