Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
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Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.