she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today