Porn is love you can see.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My ass is underappreciated