How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.