Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
