I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
