U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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