don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
