if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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