census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
So squirting runs in the family.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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