There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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