she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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