what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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