It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Randomize
