Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
