Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
