I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I fill condoms, not promises.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize