i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
