so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
