New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
