Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
