Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
