I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
