you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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