I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
