I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize