I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
