Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
