you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
