This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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