Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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