im holly from the hills drunk
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
