Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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