My first STD was from a foam party
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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