You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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