okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
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just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
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Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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