just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
