elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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