I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
