Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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