Sry I called you an 8
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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