i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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